Are you being bullied? Lessons in mind control (part 2)

Signs to spot and help you confirm you are being mind-controlled or manipulated in harmful ways by other people

In the first blog in this series on gaslighting, mind-control and bullying, I shared how, even with years of experience working as a 'stop bullying' coach, I almost succumbed to the mind-control tactics of an organization purporting to offer one of the greatest self-development training courses in the world. It was a major life lesson, and not a pleasant one at that.

Below I share some of the common behaviours and tactics which people use to try and control, or even harm, others, as well as tell-tale signs to help recognize if you are on the receiving end of unfair treatment, because recognizing it is happening is the first, and often most difficult, crucial step to stopping people from treating you badly.

So, let me ask you some questions:

Do any of these sound familiar, in relation to any people in your life (partner, boss, family member, friend...)?:

• You find yourself treading on eggshells, afraid of speaking your truth or voicing your feelings around this person, because if you do, you're chastized, put down, critisized, judged... or even verbally or physically abused
• When you intuitively feel you are in the right, you are made out to be wrong...
• You are put down, shamed or humiliated, when intuitively you don't feel you've done anything to deserve it, leaving you confused and frustrated, questioning your sanity over and over again...
• When you point out their unfair behaviour, it's turned around on you, making you out to be the bad guy...
• One minute they're nice, the next minute they've turned into a monster... (Jekyll and Hyde)

These are classic signs of narcissists, bullies and people who like to dominate and control others. 

There are various definitions of what it means to be a narcissist, including:

1. A person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves. "narcissists think the world revolves around them"
2. Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition in which people have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance. They need and seek too much attention and want people to admire them. People with this disorder may lack the ability to understand or care about the feelings of others.
3. Someone who thinks they’re better than everyone else but flies off the handle at the slightest criticism.

And here are some of the signs that your innate body intelligence is trying to let you know that someone else's behaviour is unacceptable, and that it's not right to put up with it:

• Your heart and gut tell you one thing, but then you don't trust yourself because of what this person keeps telling you, and so you let your head brain override your gut feelings, and you give in... again... and again... to what the other person is telling you... in other words you trust your head more than your heart and gut (brains). 
• You feel like they are Jekyll and Hyde - one minute they're super nice, the next minute a monster - and you just feel exhausted trying to keep the peace
• You keep giving them 'one more chance' in the hope they will change, which they often promise to do
• You can't sleep properly, and spend many of your waking hours worrying about the situation and how to solve it
• You're walking around on eggshells, afraid of how they'll react to anything you do
• You know something doesn't feel right but you can't put your finger on what it is

If you suspect that something isn't right, that your gut and heart are telling you something doesn't feel right, LISTEN TO YOUR INNER FEELINGS. Your heart and gut are literal brains helping you to stay SAFE. I explain how your 3 brains work in this video: 

If you're ready to turn things around, I invite you to my workshop on HOW TO SPOT AND STOP TOXIC  BEHAVIOUR this September - note the earlybird deadline of 31 August!

References

https://www.helpguide.org/mental-health/personality-disorders/narcissistic-personality-disorder